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Stella's Manifesto

While wasting the last bits of a Friday afternoon at work, I stumbled upon Jonathan Adler’s Manifesto. I loved it! It’s all so right on. Naturally, I had to see if I could be as witty and spot on as Mr. Adler. Is it possible for a working mom to be as clever as a celebrity designer with his own show and a dog named Liberace? I doubt it but I’ll give it a try. Here is Stella’s manifesto.

We believe that while nurseries may smell like shit, they shouldn’t look like it.

We believe in hand-made.

We believe in mixing heirlooms and hand-me-downs with modern pieces and accessories.

We believe that red goes with any and every other color (our favorite? red and purple!)

We believe in faux fur…lots of it.

We believe that plushies can be the chicest of room décor.

We believe that licensed characters belong on cereal boxes, not in a child’s room.

We believe in dress up and make believe.

We believe that animal prints are neutrals.

We believe in bedtime stories.

We believe in encouraging a child’s imagination in everything they do.

Scarface

Oh Z, was that really necessary? I was just trying to distract you from the fit that you were throwing by making a funny face and tickling you. However, you were not impressed and I angered you to the point of physical retaliation.

All I did was take something dangerous away from you. I can’t even remember what it was now, but knowing you, it probably had a serrated edge or was a part of the bleach family. The result? A fit like none other.

I quickly dug in my mental bag o’ tricks and tried what usually works with you…a simple distraction. I underestimated your anger and my attempt at levity was met with a rogue nail at a dangerous angle.

You hurt me Z. You hurt me bad. I’ve been asked a dozen times today what I did to piss off my cat. People think I’m a cat person! The horror!!

And to top it off, your father is calling me Scarface instead of his usual pet name for me…”Naggy McBitchenstein.”

“’Es Ok. Another Quaalude and she’ll love me in the morning” *

*Note: Stella’s Pretties does not approve of the use of habit-forming sedatives on toddlers…except for maybe on planes or at the grocery store.

Extended holiday

I hope no one minded that I took a little time off for the holidays. Christmas does start earlier and earlier each year, doesn’t it?

Ok…so really I have just been lazy and made the mistake of putting “blog for Stella” on the to-do list, right next to rake the yard, shred the pile of old credit card bills, and list the girls baby stuff on Craigslist. Generally, if something is put on a to-do list in my house, it will never get done. I have always had a problem with procrastination and authority. I don’t like that a piece of paper is telling me what to do and I really don’t like doing it within the time parameters of said piece of paper. By the by, none of the things I mentioned have been done and that list was created in October. In yo’ face lined sheet of paper!

So, what have I been up to? Not making any new product, for one thing. What with toddler twins, a full-time job and requisite 9-10 hours of sleep per night, I simply did not have the ability to pull myself off of the couch (also throw in there The Biggest Loser, Jon & Kate plus Eight, and HGTV as sources of time/brain function loss).

I may not have done anything productive in craft cyberspace lately but I did start a new job in October as a health policy analyst. It is at the same association as my old job but on a much hipper floor (must be why no one talks to me or says bless you when I sneeze) and in a much better department. Best part…the title. I am a health policy analyst. I analyze health policy. Sounds smart and important. Well it is. And I am.

All right…meat and potatoes part. I guess that since this blog is supposed to showcase my nursery art, I should display some. Here’s one. It is titled “Behold the Great Spotted Elephant.”


Now isn’t that better than any licensed character?